The Cheese Trap: A Reflection on Corporate Outsourcing

I want my cheese back!

Yeah you heard me...I want my cheese back and I want it back now!

Before you pass judgment, you should know that I am not a complainer. I am a realist and a cynical one at that. Which is likely the reason why I don't buy into this whole "Who Moved My Cheese" attitude that I am expected to adopt as an American white-collar worker. This is the idea that the corporate bigwigs want me to buy into, right? In case you are not familiar, the "idea" is that when your life changes due to a force that is out of your control (i.e. your cheese "moves" or "runs out"), you are supposed to accept it, see it as a blessing and move on in search of new opportunities (cheeses). Fine. Decent advice for real life.

But in the corporate world, all this cheese-moving-acceptance-preaching is propaganda, plain and simple. If you buy into it, it basically provides a license to move you, fire you, oppress you, outsource you or exhaust you, while you—you good little mousey—continue to accept the incessant cheese moving and set out to find new, albeit holographic, corporate cheese. It is exactly what the fat cats up at the top want you to digest and internalize so that you will be a happy little mechanical mouse; nose one inch off the ground, focused on the cheese and on finding the new places that they hide it. But truth be told, Corporate America is playing Three Card Monty with your Gouda. Either there wasn't any cheese to begin with, or they have palmed it and you will never ever get it no matter which spot you think it's under. And beware folks! Like the street version, there are upper management accomplices standing by that will inevitably find the cheese each time.

In my particular case, my entire cheese supply has been shredded and shipped to India. In many cases, it's China.

That's right, I am a victim of the outsourcing fad that has taken this country by storm. Not only was my job replaced, but I was also asked to train my cheaper, offshore replacement so that he could do my job. Incredibly, I was expected to be happy about it. I was encouraged to put on rose colored glasses and look forward to being "freed up" to do "other things with my life". On a daily basis I was told by management that, despite any emotions I was having about this change, now is an important time to "stay focused" on my job. The CIO actually sent out an email advising us all to "avoid participating in any resistance". Thanks, Mayor McCheese, I'll try not to.

When I first was told that I was going to be outsourced, the boss above mine suggested that I read "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson to deal with the monumental change. Considering the circumstances, not only was this insulting, it was insensitive to the gravity of the situation. What was the goal here? It was to "help" me accept what was happening, comply with it and begin to view the shady state of affairs as "a positive". Really, this is like handing me a map of Stepford, a glass of water and a couple of pills so that I can start making myself at home in my new town. I mean, maybe if I just stop and think about the positives of living in Stepford, I won't mind that someone moved me there and I'll grow to love it!

That's alright. I prefer to keep my brain functioning, thank you.

The awful truth is that the situations I describe are not unique. They are increasingly common and are happening regularly at companies all over the United States. The sad fact of the matter is that the men and women running American corporations are out of control. But in a country that prides itself on democracy, the fact that, in a large corporation a handful of people can have a serious adverse effect on hundreds and often thousands of people seems very wrong. Doesn't it? Not to mention the trickle down effect the decisions of few people have on the economy. Ahh the beauty of capitalism...

Historically, the odds are against the common man. But it absolutely needs to change if this country is going to get any better and Americans would like to keep their sanity. From experience, we know things like this don't change overnight. And no, despite all my ranting and sincere corporate existential pondering, regrettably I do not have a plan. But perhaps I have inspired someone who does. Perhaps I have poured cold water on a few sleeping giants. So today, the question I will leave you with, my friend, is:

Are we mice or are we men?

This is a guest post by Alotta Candor. Alotta is a staff writer and commentator for JobSchmob.com, the “lighter” side of the working world. She is proud to be a liberated ex-corporate office worker.